Well tonight Justin is working another late night, and I should be doing the stack of dishes in the sink, or cleaning one of our bathrooms, or picking up the mess I left by the door. I can think of so many things to do that it just over whelms me a little. Tonight I was sitting in a chair thinking over some thoughts I've had over the past few weeks. With living in a funeral home I can't help but think of death more often than not. And I had this man and wife drop by the other day and I watched him go through a few of the motions of grief right in front of me, and it broke my heart. I wish that there was more that I could do than to simply let him in to see his dad. I guess being a listening ear was what he needed. A man so close to tears and yet so full of anger. I started to think about how when we come to the close of our lives what is it that people miss. Is it the person they really miss because they were so loved for who they were, that being without their company just breaks your heart, or is it because they did so much for you, that you realize you aren't going to have that person to do those things for you any more. I think there are a number of reasons why people miss people when they die. But when I die, I of course want to be known for what I did for others, but I think what I long for is to be missed for me. Because they miss being around me.
I am not perfect, and far to often I make Justin feel guilty for things he shouldn't feel guilty for, and I sometimes care too much about the dirt on the carpet than I should. But with Christmas just a week away I know that Satan is on the attack. He wants us to feel discouraged and wants us to feel unloved and unwanted. He gets us when we are down because it is easiest.
But I believe in my Savior Jesus Christ and what he did for me. I love thinking about Him as a sweet baby with Mary probably feeling overwhelmed with the idea of being His mother, but then I think of the joy she had. Nothing completes a woman I think like motherhood.
So tonight when I could easily be feeling discouraged and even a little unloved, I remember that I am always loved by my Heavenly Father. And if you are reading this blog, than maybe that means you love me a little too.
3 comments:
I agree with your statement about motherhood, I think it does complete a woman like nothing else. It also tries a woman's soul like nothing else too. :) this was a good post, and as a matter of fact, i do love you. glad things are okay now.
Great post. Sending *(Hugs)* and love!
This was a great post. It was very sincere and heart felt. You are very much loved and would be greatly missed...but hopefully we won't have to test that one out for a very long time!! Satan does try to get at us when we are down or not feeling appreciated and a number of other times. So good for you for realizing the things you realized and choices the better part and being grateful for all that you have been blessed with. I can totally relate to not liking a dirty house and it getting to you....I was the same way. Someways it's a good thing and in other ways it's like a heavy chain you carry. It's ok to let things go sometimes!
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