When I came to work this morning I came with expectations that I wouldn't have a moment to breath because I have appointments all day. Well I have a break, and because of this break I was able to read a dear friends blog this morning. It made me cry a number of times. I wanted to write out my thoughts in hopes that she will find this post and know that I love and care about her.
Recently she lost her brother in a tragic accident. What touched me about this story is that I have forgotten already what it feels like to loose someone so close to you that you don't know how to breath and function. I remember when my friend Tina was murdered. I found out at Seminary and I couldn't breath that day. I finally had to go to a teacher and tell him that my friend had been murdered the night before and that I would really like to go and see a counselor. He said okay, and I walked straight there and began crying until I couldn't any more. The thought of going to her funeral hurt my insides. So when the day came and I had to choose if I was going to go, I decided that I wanted to mourn on my own. Hearing about your loss McKensie, breaks my heart. I in a much smaller way know the pain you are going through. I am so sorry. I think your sweet letters to your brother truly reach Heaven, and I so wish that I could some how write something as beautiful to tribute all those beyond the veil.
Death is something that is never easy. For me it is knowing that they are still there but that I can't hug them or tell them that I love them that hurts the most. When my Great Grandpa Larson died, I remember sitting in my room at night when I would be saying my prayers and I would ask if I could talk to Great Grandpa. I then would talk to him telling him how much I loved him and missed him. Then when my Grandpa died it ached. All of the sudden I thought of a 100 things I wanted to ask him and couldn't anymore. I remember this one time when I was down at BYU I got in my car after a class, and there was Grandpa's contact card with a note on the back that said he was sorry he missed me. I cried so hard when I found that.
The other week when I was at Justin's graduation and something that Mitch Albom said made me think about how one keeps their legacy going. They keep their legacy going or in other words become eternal here on Earth by being the type of person that people keep talking about. Not the bad things, but all the wonderful things. It was really beautiful how he said it. I truly enjoyed that graduation speaker than I have ever enjoyed any speaker. I felt he was speaking to my heart. Helping me to realize what really matters in life. I keep thinking about it, and wish he knew how it moved me.
Anyway I know this just a modge podge of thoughts, but I wanted to tell my dear friend that she is loved, and so much thought of! I truly am grateful for life experiences that touch and move me!
2 comments:
Kelly, oh you sweetheart. Thank you so much! I am so grateful for all the support I have had through this. And yes, I believe too that Garrett can hear what I am say/ read what I am writing. It is that much more pressure to be the person I want to be. I am sure you feel that with your friend. I am so sorry you had to go through that. How awful. Especially at such a young age. I am more and more convinced it is the young ones that are absolutely amazing and have great lessons to be learned by the rest of us, that die. But I still find myself asking why? Why can't we all just die on like September 15, 2038 from like an atomic bomb. Or even more peaceful, like the second coming. Wouldn't that be nice? But that is where the rest of us come in and learn to love and learn how much others loved us. Thanks sweet friend! I love you and already feel you absence in the village. Boo. Keep in touch!
That was a very nice post Kelly. I understood and could relate to your feelings. I too am sorry for your friend's loss.
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