I seriously am so tired of feeling deflated when I get home from work. I go each day ready to fight for another day, and I end up feeling like the most worthless person ever. This can not possibly be normal!What happened recently to make me feel this way again. My supervisor who has a list of the dumbest things she says people have been observing about me. Like how when the light blinks (which is to tell us when they need assistance upfront) that I sit for a second before getting up. I am thinking, WHAT! Today was the first time I was responding to an e-mail that I knew if I didn't finish my train of thought I'd loose my train of thought. I seriously can't believe that people don't have more to do with their time than to watch the new girl! I mean COME ON!!! I know I rant about work, but just this morning I was so happy I could finally post about something other than work. And then this happens. Oh you might like to know that the other things that they complained about was that I was getting a snack at the snack cart today, and was joking with the people. I had 50 cents and I was in need of a little sugar, and I get in trouble for having a good time. This place is way to high strung for me! I am seriously getting to where I don't want to even try anymore. I was teasing with my supervisor and said, "Is there ever a day you don't think I am terrible?" She laughed and said its not her it is everyone else. She truly is super sweet and I know she knows I am trying, but everyone out here is out to get me. I really just needed to get this out. I hate feeling like I am about to cry at work! I just am so over this place! I will not be returning to work here after the baby comes! I will make any other sacrifice in this life except exchanging time with my sweet baby for the lovely people of University of Pittsburgh's Financial aid office! May be I am not worth anything to them after all!
3 comments:
I truly am sorry that things are so miserable for you. Just remember that Heavenly Father is keenly aware of you and your situation. Things WILL work out. You just can't see it yet, but something is in the making for you and your family. Just remember to endure your trial with faith and hope. Just when you think you can't endure it any more, something will happen. Do the very best you can at work in spite of the others. You know who you are and what you are capable of doing. Trust in the Lord and He will direct your way. It might be hard for a little time but it will be worth it in the end. We are praying for you.
Of course Mom had the best comment. All I know is that these people sound like jerks and unfortunately we all have jobs like that eventually (or maybe it's just you and me?? lol). Mom is right that all you can control is yourself and try not to care about those other losers, but I do know that that is way easier said than done. especially if people are critisizing you for getting a snack from the snack cart?! what the what, people need to get a life instead of spying on their coworkers. You've been on my mind a ton lately, and I feel bad that I still haven't mailed the package. I will do it tomorrow, it has just been a really crazy couple of weeks. love you!
Dude, I have worked with you, and let me just say...working with you is ridiculous!:) Just kidding. You really are one of the most lovely people I ever worked with. If PA can't see that, its pretty much their problem. Love your face.
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